Phoebe's Love Notes - Winter 2025 I Volume 6.

A Millennial and Her Socks…

 

So, I’m turning 40 soon. And something’s happening – a little quiet reckoning with myself. Not a full-blown crisis (though some days it teeters on the edge) but a mid-life style wobble of sorts. A gentle panic that maybe, just maybe… I’m no longer cool?

I mean, when did we all start looking the same?

The other day I walk into the gym and suddenly realise… I’m the only one not wearing crew socks over their leggings. There I am, proudly wearing my no-show socks like it's 2016. I look around, slightly bewildered, wondering: When did this happen? Was there a memo? A movement? A silent sock revolution? As a no-show sock devotee (it just looks better, okay?), I had a minor style identity crisis right there. Honestly, who needs Botox when you can just… change your socks and look 10 years younger? Ha!

And I caught myself the other day tucking in my jumper because I liked the way it looked and I suddenly had this overwhelming sense that I was doing it wrong. That it wasn’t cool. Like I needed to check TikTok to make sure tucking was still allowed.

I think that’s the first time since I was a teenager that I felt like I needed to validate what I was wearing.

It. Was. Unnerving.

And the thing is, I’ve always confidently done my own thing. So this new feeling has me genuinely very confused. With Sage x Clare we’ve built a whole brand around not following trends for trend’s sake. Around colour clashes, texture mixes and homes that feel like an extension of the soul, not a perfect Pinterest board. Around not needing permission to feel good in your space – or in your skin.

But lately? The world feels noisier than ever. A vortex of sameness. Everyone’s scrolling, copying, replicating. Interiors. Outfits. Opinions. And I don’t want to sound like a grump shaking her fist at the algorithm… but are we even letting ourselves try things anymore? Are we experimenting and playing and getting it wrong just for the thrill of discovering what lights us up?

Or are we just too afraid to get it wrong?

My questioning is coming from all sides. My kids are at that, at times, savage and honest age where they’re starting to develop their own take on “cool”. The other day my son looked at my outfit and said, “Mum, why wear that? That’s not cool.” And I laughed because… honestly? He’s probably right. But also? I liked it. That should count for something, right?

And then there was this moment shopping.

A few weeks back we were on the hunt for new basketball shoes – a seemingly simple task. I held up a pair to my son and asked, “How about these?”, he just rolled his eyes with the weariness of a teen (he’s 8, by the way), then confidently picked what I felt pretty certain were the ugliest shoes in the store – neon, chunky, deeply questionable. But he loved them.

It was a moment that stuck with me – this tiny, slightly absurd reminder that his sense of style is already forming. Uninfluenced by algorithms. Unapologetic. He doesn’t care what’s trending or what’s tasteful. He felt cool in them. He just knows what he likes. And he goes for it. No hesitation, no second-guessing. Just pure, unapologetic choice.

And I thought… wow. When did we stop doing that?

We’ve gotten to this strange point where there’s a collective consensus about what’s cool and not cool – as if it’s fact, not fashion. But cool used to be subjective. Messy. Quirky. Brave. And what I’m craving – really craving – is a return to individuality. Not rebellion for rebellion’s sake, but honest-to-goodness perspective. A little style confidence.

You don’t develop a sense of style by doing what someone else is doing.

You develop it by trying things. By wearing the “wrong” jeans and loving them anyway. By rearranging your living room on a Tuesday night just because you felt like it. By being inspired by someone who’s been making art for 50 years, rather than a 19-year-old doing a “haul" or "unboxing”.

The TikTok accounts I find myself drawn to lately are the ones with strong opinions. People who say “This gives me the ick” or “Here’s what I think” – not because they’re trying to shock or stir the pot, but because it’s theirs. It’s real. And it’s such a beautiful reminder: it’s okay to have a point of view.

So here I am – a millennial approaching 40, clinging to my ankle-baring ways, still tucking my top when it feels right. Still creating a home that feels layered and lived in and joyful, not showroom perfect.

I’m not cool. Or maybe I am. I honestly don’t know anymore.

But I do know this: I’m not here to fit into someone else’s idea of what looks good. I’m here to feel something. To experiment. To discover. To keep choosing what’s beautiful and feels good to me.

And I will continue to wear my no-show socks, even if they’re apparently now an uncool symbol of millennial decline. (Who decided that anyway?)

And if you're feeling this too – quietly questioning, wondering, hoping to reclaim that spark of self-expression – just know: you’re not alone.

Now off to rearrange my kitchen table x rug position again. It felt right.

Stay bold, stay true and don’t be afraid to do it your way.

With a whole lotta love,

P x